Books
My babies… it’s been a few years so they’re all grown up now… well some of them will be forever young!
Captain wetbeard
Ahoy me hearties – come aboard the Marigold … if you dare!
It’s supposed to be fun but something about Captain Wetbeard’s ship isn’t quite right. When Emily and Daniel’s parents send them on a rollicking pirate adventure holiday things go horribly wrong. An ancient captain, a bald farting parrot and a diet of chocolate-coated shrimps – they weren’t in the holiday brochure!
Great reading for 6-8 year olds
the trouble with sauce
When the only way of being good is being bad
Jonty thinks he’s attending regular school, but he can’t figure out why all his classmates are turning into well-behaved, brilliant students. When the perfect school turns into a perfect nightmare, no one is safe from the world’s cleverest students. With two unlikely friends, Jonty sets about exposing the principal’s dastardly plan, but will they just become part of his evil scheme too? It’s a non-stop comedy adventure that makes you think – how far would you go to be top of the class?
Great reading for 8-12 year olds
Listen to the first two chapters (8.3mb)
lab rats in space
Growing up is hard… especially when you’re from another planet
Waking up in a laboratory floating in space five children and a furry brick realise they’ve been cruelly experimented on – limbs have been added, looks changed and some really weird things happen to their bodies. Escaping the research station these Lab Rats embark on a hilarious action-packed mission to find their homes before the evil Professor Xanax and his nasty assistant, Bumface capture them.
Great reading for 7-11 year olds
Listen to the first two chapters (6.8mb)
i, Wolf
Hunt or be hunted ... Sixteen-year-old Romy suffers from a rare genetic disease that will send him mad - and ultimately kill him. His last hope is a mysterious clinic in Austria, where a cure is promised. But the treatment is drastic and Romy is changed forever. When he meets Antonia - beautiful, headstrong and out of his league - Romy starts coming to terms with his new life. But after a spate of grisly night-time attacks, Romy is forced to confront an awful truth ... What has he become?
A paranormal action novel for 13+
(and correct, Matt Boyd is not my name - we used a pseudonym because this is no fun comedy for the little ones)
French Letters
Just when you thought it was safe to go
back in the olive grove…
On the lookout for the next big thing in food, New York trendspotter Peter Noirelle is drawn into his estranged father’s culinary scam… Greque-en-Provence, a frightful fusion of French and Greek cuisine aimed at turning a tiny (and none too innocent) Provençal village into a money spinner. The primal forces of fate, farce and fondue are in the hands of something wickedly funny. Will anyone swallow it?
‘A polished satire… Bouchet is one of the zany sane in a world with too many cook books’ Sydney Morning Herald
The Beauty of truth
Ambition, Revenge, Domestic Appliances
Mark Boyd is a mediocre marketing manager with average looks and a bad idea until… He reinvents himself as a stunning, lust-inspiring Adonis. The results go far beyond his wildest dreams. His career takes off and beautiful women start queueing for his favours. But can he survive the raging emotions his beauty provokes? And just how can he turn his ideas for KitchenArt into profit? A fearless satire on the all-consuming power of marketing and the seductive allure of appearances, The Beauty of Truth is a genuinely witty, laugh-out loud novel about the modern world of marketing, where truth, like beauty, is only skin deep.
the girls
What if you could take a day off from yourself? Maureen Ting is attractive, intelligent and happily married. She’s a great wife, a wonderful friend, a superb dance company administrator and she’s got great breasts. Keeping a doctor’s appointment no one knows about, Maureen gets the news no woman wants to hear: breast cancer. Under doctor’s instructions to indulge herself, Maureen attempts to take a day off from herself. Adopting ‘sex and drugs’ as her mantra she embarks on a day that will transform the lives of everyone she meets.
A roller-coaster of farce and poignant observations about friendships and how our bodies affect our lives.